The Sign's Best Features

• Aries: Your Teeth
• Taurus: What Your Organs are Worth on the Black Market
• Gemini: The pulsating tendrils protruding from your back.
• Cancer: The blood you have spilled in my name.
• Leo: The fact that you're still here despite being dead for four years.
• Virgo: Your tits.
• Libra: The fear you've instilled in man over the past century.
• Scorpio: Your head is nothing but a void cradling the endless screams of the damned.
• Capricorn: Your very convincing human suit.
• Aquarius: How important your survival is to the existence of our universe.
• Pieces: You're about to find out.